Emergenza Preselections - Day 1

Ophidian, Vaselyne Connexion, Yuzu, CorrXion, Electric Osvaldo, Aching Mind, Thorax, Inborn at the Kulturfabrik (Esch/Alzette) on February 7th, 2003

The concept of Emergenza is well known already: a bunch of young supposedly talented bands play concerts against each other, and the winner has the honour to represent Luxembourg at the Taubertal Festival. Of course it probably doesn't built much sense of fairplay when bands try to outdo each other, but then - especially in the quarter finals - it sometimes funny to see young bands at the early stages of a career.

Ophidian are the future of Luxembourgian heavy metal Unfortunately, Schweinepest had to cancel their gig because of a band member's illness. Therefore Ophidian started out the evening. As I learned, this band consisted among others of two ex-Serenity members. Lex once told me that Serenity rather sucked, but you can't say that of Ophidian's supermetal. Fronted by a really talented female vocalist who knew how to sing with a really strong voice and to whisper totally scarily, they proved already early to be the future of Luxembourgian heavy metal. Especially since also the music was excellent, especially the guitarist's progressive shredding and virtuosic solos made this a masterpiece of progressive power metal. Look out for Ophidian!

Vaselyne Connexion, highly original crossover rock on its way to perfection Next on were Vaselyne Connexion, who were maybe a little bit boring, but then the only band who were heading into a very original direction. Their music was a mix of rock, funk and jazz, and the - again female - vocalist had a really strange but interesting way to sing. It's hard to describe their music, and maybe that's what made it hard for people to get into it, but it was quite an intelligent approach they had.

Watch out The Shaggs and Spinal Tap, here comes Yuzu!!! The Shaggs meet Spinal Tap, or say hello to Yuzu. Most people who voted for these stoner youngsters just did it in spite of most of the unoriginal crap that was to follow. True enough, Yuzu are baaad, and also the reason why I enjoy first rounds so much. It's no surprise they didn't make it into the semifinals, but they made me - and a lot of other people - laugh, in a positive way. Not only that the singer with his self-made bandana never got a tone right, but the guitar and bass players sounded as if they had never held their instruments in their hands before. Only the drummer spoiled it a bit by keeping the rhythm from time to time.

CorrXion... still waiting for puberty... CorrXion MUST DIE. CorrXion ARE SCUM. CorrXion WILL GO TO HELL AND BURN. CorrXion ARE THE ANTICHRIST. CorrXion DESERVE TO BE IMPALED ALIVE. But seriously, CorrXion are the reason why Luxembourg's music scene has such a bad reputation. They are so irrelevant that even T42 are a true alternative band compared to them. Their pop music leaves out no cliché, even a song with truly stupid Luxembourgian lyrics. OK, they are high school kids, but they are the proof that the PISA study is right. This is the moronic generation of SMS kids who spend every Euro on new cell phone paraphernalia, who pray every Saturday to the holy god of popcorn in the temple of Utopolis, whose concept of intelligence are brain numbing quiz shows on private TV stations, and who really think it's people like Jang Linster who will reveal the superstar to this world. ODC, take care, because CorrXion are nearly as crap as you.

Electic Osvaldo rocking, but not yet too originally Afterwards everything would have been great, so thank the gods for Electric Osvaldo, although I have to admit that I never really get warm with their music. It's not the music that's bad, just a bit colourless, and the vocals are standard issue too. I already saw the guys opening for Foggy Bottom some months ago, and nothing much has changed. They wore cool suits and ties, but their hard rocking alternative rock is just too unoriginal to awake interest in me.

Aching Mind are really sad people wearing shirts like Magnum PI Aching Mind were really weird. At first I couldn't determine the gender of their singer, but he was a guy, although a weird looking one. Get a haircut and grow a beard, damn it. The music sucked totally when they tried to rock, but when they slowed down, it had something special. Not necessarily good, but they showed that the slow tunes were more ok with their attitude. Very young band again, so give them a bit of time and they just might develop into something more worthwhile.

Some people will never grow up... Thorax Some guys never give up. Thorax is the new band of the guy who used to sing for Sinset Ride, so he's probably already 120 years old by now. Their good ole time rock'n'roll was then also mist unoriginal, and covering Van Halen's Panama and AC/DC Whole Lotta Rosie and You Shook Me All Night Long didn't do justice to the spirit of Emergenza.

Music for the young at heart: Inborn I was becoming more and more tired, so I was more than happy when Inborn ended the evening. Their combination of alternative rock meets nu metal was the right thing for the youngsters in the audience, but I probably am too old for this kind of music.

Anyway, when all was said and done, Ophidian came in fourth, which is what I guessed from the beginning, although in my opinion, they were the moral winners of the evening. Great band to watch out for. Third were the evil spawns of the Antichrist CorrXion, which surprised me as they brought a lot of fans, but most of them were so little that they probably couldn't reach their hands high enough, so only a third place. Second were Inborn, and although I didn't care much for their music, I think they actually deserved to get into the semifinals. Then, to the shame of the evening, Thorax won. I knew they would make it into the semifinals, as they brought a lot of fans, but win? I wonder if there is no rule against this kind of stage acting. When bands like Thorax win, you give the totally wrong idea to young people: don't even try to write your own songs when cover versions will bring you further.

And this was it already for the first evening. I need to get some rest to enjoy the second one, so let's hope it will be better. By the way, I guessed all the winning bands right, but thought that Thorax and CorrXion would switch places. And, very finally, here's my favourite list of the evening: 4. Inborn, 3. Yuzu, 2. Vaselyne Connexion and 1. Ophidian.


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